BLOG: The dud crew

OWNING a boat brings with it a sense of freedom and flexibility that is hard to live without.

I'm a happy boatie who struggles to comprehend life without a boat in the driveway. The flipside however, reveals an inordinate amount of time spent cleaning, preparing and maintaining the boat, motor and trailer to ensure optimum performance. Then there's the financial overhead of acquiring a boat plus the associated maintenance and running costs – come to think of it, a rational person may suggest that boat ownership isn't a wise financial investment...

I probably lean towards the irrational end of the thought spectrum. The rational people can have their warm, comfortable beds and sound investment options, I'll happily hop in my depreciating boat first thing in the morning during the middle of winter, find myself getting cold and wet only to return home having spent good money on fuel with nothing to show for it ... and I wouldn't have it any other way!

Given the burden of boat ownership, the skipper has every right to expect fair treatment by crew members. The motivation for my ramblings came about after a crew member pulled out of a fishing trip literally moments before we were scheduled to depart, leaving me with no option but to fend for myself. Feeble excuses don't cut it, your explanation better be sound otherwise I'll assume that you're an evil person with horns and glowing red eyes.

What should a skipper expect from a crew? I've never been good at magic and am yet to master any sleight of hand – my boat isn't laced with mystical powers either, yet some crew members think boats are self fuelling with access to limitless and free supplies of motion potion. Dear recalcitrant crew, I'm not convinced of your argument that it is fair for me to both supply the boat and pay for all of the fuel.

What about being punctual? Another little chestnut that dud crews seem struggle with. If I can fuel the boat up the night before, prepare all of my gear plus spares for said crew members, prepare some food for myself (plus a little extra to share with others) and prepare the boat and wake up early to double check everything in the morning, surely it's fair to assume a crew can arrive on time?
Maybe I'm being irrational again; I tend to equate 15 minutes at 4am with an hour of normal fully rested daylight time. Maybe I'm a little selfish also. It's tough to be somewhere at 4am and maybe that extra 15 minutes of sleep really does fully energise the body ... perhaps I should be happy to wait while the crew hit the snooze button a few more times?

Heaven forbid should the dud crew fail to catch any fish – there's an unwritten law in the land of the dud crew member which seems to suggest that "the (dud) crew are absolved of any obligations, financial or otherwise, should they fail to enjoy their time on the water as a consequence of, but not limited to, failure to capture any suitably exotic or challenging species". Just pout your lips, grab your gear and hastily leave at the end of the day feeling the highest level of contempt for the skipper!

At the end of the day, I made the decision to outlay capital on a boat and never intended to recover any of that capital through the crew, either directly or indirectly. I love owning a boat and am happy to house and maintain my aluminium friend! What I do expect of crew however, is fairness. It's fair that if I can prep my boat and be on time that a crew member can also be on time, it's fair that if I pay for fuel and provide the boat that a fuel contribution is offered by crew, it's fair that if there's a bounty to be shared that no one on board feels hard done by.

A boat owner can spend thousands of dollars insuring and maintaining their boat not to mention the countless hours spent in preparation and upkeep – most boat owners don't expect the world of their crew, I know that I don't but I do expect to be treated fairly!

What are your thoughts on crew – what differentiates a good crew member from a dreadful one?